Pick A Topic, Any Topic

There are about a million and five things I want to talk about, but my mind cannot seem to focus on just one.  I even wrote something about one of them and **POOF** it went buh-bye.  That is good, because I wasn't happy with what I wrote.

I want to write a funny, light-hearted post because I think I've been WAY too serious lately.

Yeah, not happening.

So maybe I'll talk about what happened yesterday at yet ANOTHER church I've been going to recently.  I most likely will NOT be going back, but I'm afraid I'm being too narrow-minded (trust me, what happened is REALLY controversial). 

Nah - can't organize those thoughts.

How about the fact that I'm STILL struggling with wondering whether or not God is listening to me?  Can you believe that?  STILL.  As I sat there pouring my heart out to Him about it, questioning whether or not it even mattered what I said, He did something VERY specific to show me He was listening.

Nope - no organization there.

So instead, today I wanna do two things.  I wanna link y'all over to (in)courage and ENCOURAGE you to read Sarah Markley's post on hope.    Sarah has, hands down, become my favorite blogger.  I anxiously look forward to her new blog post each day.  After reading her entry over at (in)courage, why not hop on over to her blog - it'll bless your socks right on off.

And finally, this:

"The Lord himself will fight for you.  Just stay calm."

Exodus 14:14 (NLT)

"Since I Have My Life Before Me."

I'll live my life to the fullest.  I'll be happy.  I'll brighten up. I will be more joyful than I have ever been. I will be kind to others.  I will loosen up. I will tell others about Christ.  I will go on adventures and change the world.  I will be bold and not change who I really am.  I will have no troubles but instead help others with their troubles.

You see, I'll be one of those people who live to be history makers at a young age.  Oh, I'll have moments, good and bad, but I will wipe away the bad and only remember the good.  In fact that's all I remember, just good moments, nothing in between, just living my life to the fullest.  I'll be one of those people who go somewhere with a mission, an awesome plan, a world-changing plan, and nothing will hold me back.  I'll set an example for others, I will pray for direction.

I have my life before me.  I will give others the joy I have and God will give me more joy.  I will do everything God tells me to do.  I will follow the footsteps of God.  I will do my best!!!

The above was not reprinted with permission.  But it's the story, the thing that I read that changed EVERYTHING for me.  It was written by Brooke Bronkowski when she was twelve years old.

TWELVE.

I'm... well I'm not twelve.  And I have no idea how much of my life I have ahead of me.  But more than anything else, I want to live the way Brooke desired to live. 

I want to be happy.

I want to tell others about Christ.

I want to go somewhere with a mission, an awesome plan, a world-changing plan.

I. Won't. Be. Held. Back.

A few years later, Brooke was killed in a car accident.  Brooke lived her brief 14-years exactly the way she wanted.  Brooke did her best.

I pray, with all my heart, that I will too.

The Pink Sweatshirt

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but desire fulfilled is the tree of life."

Proberbs 13:12

Being single and slightly older than I was before, the whole idea of hope and longing is becoming as familiar to me as my pink sweatshirt.  I love, love, LOVE my pink sweatshirt.  I've had it since the mid-80's, bought it at EXP, have worn it in many countries, to many outings, I've painted in it, watched movies in it, slept in it, cleaned, shopped, you name it - that pink sweatshirt and I go WAY back.

SAD to say that there was a time that that pink sweatshirt fit me... well it was never TIGHT but now (and thankfully) it kind of just hangs on me, and if I'm totally TOTALLY honest with myself, it should retire to sweatshirt heaven, but I LOVE my pink sweatshirt (and pink's not even my favorite color).  I've even had friends threaten to steal it from me and throw it away.  I know every part of that comfy piece of clothing.  The ribbing around the wrists are starting to fray, and there's that green spot of paint (I own nothing painted green, so that's a bit of a mystery), but those tiny delicate flowers and the softness... oh I can't WAIT for the weather to get cooler so that I can pull it out.

That pink sweatshirt has seen me through countless heartbreaks, thousands of joys and hours of laughter.  It has been with me for as long as the desire, the HOPE of getting married, of belonging to someone, of being not just one, but two.  It is as familiar to me as that hope and longing.

One of my closest and oldest friends (we're talking kindergarten here) told me shortly after college that she really, REALLY believed that God was calling her to be single for the rest of her life.  Since then she has lived at peace with that decision.  She has lived her life as a single woman desiring to serve God with her whole life.  She's single, happy, content and confident in her life's calling.

She is my hope that someday I will get married.  You see, I have never gotten that call from God like she has.  I have cried, SHINE I've cried, over that longing.  But everyday, somehow, some way, that whole idea of hope continues to get through.  Over the years and through the many heartbreaks I've learned one thing - that regardless of how and when God fulfills that longing it will be His perfect plan, in His perfect time and in His perfect way.

"The vision is yet for the appointed time;
it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail.

Though it tarries wait for it;
for it will certainly come, it will not delay"

Habakuk 2:3

And as long as it takes and as painful as it might be at times, I am content (FINALLY) to wait for him.  For it will certainly come, it will not delay.  I have hope in that. I am as comfortable with my hope and longing as I am in my pink sweatshirt.  And like that beloved piece of clothing I have no plans on tossing aside my hope that one day my prince will come. 

(Sorry for the rather quick and brief departure from the whole Crazy Love thing.  I wrote this post in part due to a website I visit each morning.  Check it out - I think you'll enjoy it too.)