but desire fulfilled is the tree of life."
SAD to say that there was a time that that pink sweatshirt fit me... well it was never TIGHT but now (and thankfully) it kind of just hangs on me, and if I'm totally TOTALLY honest with myself, it should retire to sweatshirt heaven, but I LOVE my pink sweatshirt (and pink's not even my favorite color). I've even had friends threaten to steal it from me and throw it away. I know every part of that comfy piece of clothing. The ribbing around the wrists are starting to fray, and there's that green spot of paint (I own nothing painted green, so that's a bit of a mystery), but those tiny delicate flowers and the softness... oh I can't WAIT for the weather to get cooler so that I can pull it out.
That pink sweatshirt has seen me through countless heartbreaks, thousands of joys and hours of laughter. It has been with me for as long as the desire, the HOPE of getting married, of belonging to someone, of being not just one, but two. It is as familiar to me as that hope and longing.
One of my closest and oldest friends (we're talking kindergarten here) told me shortly after college that she really, REALLY believed that God was calling her to be single for the rest of her life. Since then she has lived at peace with that decision. She has lived her life as a single woman desiring to serve God with her whole life. She's single, happy, content and confident in her life's calling.
She is my hope that someday I will get married. You see, I have never gotten that call from God like she has. I have cried, SHINE I've cried, over that longing. But everyday, somehow, some way, that whole idea of hope continues to get through. Over the years and through the many heartbreaks I've learned one thing - that regardless of how and when God fulfills that longing it will be His perfect plan, in His perfect time and in His perfect way.
it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail.
for it will certainly come, it will not delay"
(Sorry for the rather quick and brief departure from the whole Crazy Love thing. I wrote this post in part due to a website I visit each morning. Check it out - I think you'll enjoy it too.)