10 hours ago
Friday, August 28, 2009
Call it the hope of Fall with it’s smell and colors. Or call it boredom with just about every aspect of my life. Or, and probably most accurately, call it discontentment. But whatever the reason, I’m feeling a combination of nesting and something akin to… well… I guess the technical term would be blah.
This is manifesting itself in a total and complete reorganization of my entire house. Last Saturday alone I painted a piece of furniture, cut out fabric for a slipcover and started moving furniture around. And moved it.
And moved it.
And I moved it Sunday.
And well you get the idea. Even now nothing still feels right (and my living room and dining room look like I just moved in – there’s stuff EVERYWHERE!). I am blaming it all on this one piece of furniture, one of my favorite pieces, that just doesn’t seem to be able to find a home. No matter where I put it or how I position it, it just doesn’t feel right.
It is a BEAUTIFUL piece that used to be a 4-drawer dresser (with 2 small drawers up top) that had survived a household fire. I got it for a STEAL at a place called Prosser’s, tossed some black paint on it and for years used it as just a dresser in my kitchen. (Oh, FYI, I collect dressers. Yup, it’s true.) Then one day I saw an article in a magazine where they took 4 dressers and re-did them and viola! a masterpiece!! So I ripped out the article and took it and my dresser to my friend Everett and said, “Make this… into this.” And he did. And I LOVE IT!
But now, I don’t know what to do with it. I have not liked it’s placement since I moved in here and so I’ve spent the better part of the week moving it from wall to wall to wall…
I can completely identify with this beautiful piece. (Yeah, there’s probably all sorts of things you can say about me identifying with an inanimate object, but please refrain.) I don’t think I’ve felt like I’m in my right spot for nearly 2 years. And while I’ve spent oodles of time trying to make my surroundings feel like home, I’ve found myself feeling more and more discontent, more and more unhappy, and finally more and more lonely.
I do not doubt for one single, solitary MOMENT that me moving here was His plan. There were situations and circumstances that just made it obvious and necessary for me to make this move.
Maybe it’s me and maybe I’m not making enough of an effort or maybe this is just God’s way of showing me it’s time to go home. Or maybe if I put that piece over on the wall next to the window in my dinning room...
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Posted by Delicious Ambiguity at 2:09 PM