30 Days

It has officially been 30 days since I got back from Belize.  My laundry's done (ok that happened within 24 hours actually), the pictures are posted (ALSO within 24 hours), souvenirs and thank yous.... ok not so much done - and I was on such a roll!  BUT I'm finally also at the point of being able to talk and hopefully move on the whole thing that has literally been keeping me up at night.

I had taken the opportunity to hang out at the beach this weekend with my "family."  It was a near perfect time of relaxing, laughing, and talking.  Most importantly getting to talk to the people whose opinions matter to me the most.  But before I had a chance to do that, God needed to show me just one more time that this time is about Him and what He's doing. He did that on Sunday at a church service that was held in the "resort" where we were staying. The pastor there has been going through Philippians and this particular sermon was on the first part of Philippians 3:

"Finally..."

(I LITERALLY meant the first part!)

The guy teaching is one of those alliteration preachers - which I must confess, I like. And because the folks who attended the Sunday morning gathering tend to change from week to week, he's also one of those guys who can succintly recap several weeks of sermons.  Bonus! 

Philippians, Chapter 1, he told us, is about our purpose.  My purpose, your purpose, ANY believers purpose, is to glorify God in all we say and do.  Everything else will flow from that.  EVERYTHING.  Period. 

Philippians 2 is about our passion. What is that thing that God has placed in our hearts that knocks our socks off?  The thing that keeps us awake at night.  The one thing that makes us feel like THIS is what I was meant to do?!

Finally - Chapter 3. Pursuit - what are we pursuing?  How are we pursuing it?  To what degree does God want us to pursue it?  Where is our heart when it comes to pursuing it?  Is it all about US or is it about Him?  Are we worried about whether or not this pursuit is beneficial for us?

"My service for God today has nothing to do with my satisfaction for tomorrow."

Jimmy Morse

My purpose?  To glorify God. Period. 

My passion?  Short-term missions.  It's been that for awhile now, but I lost sight of it for many years.  I love, am energized, charged and fully and totally stoked about short-term missions.  Not just going (which I LOVE), but being involved in people's lives as they go.  Teaching them.  Encouraging them.  Training them.  Watching them catch the vision.  There is no greater pleasure in my life to be involved in someone's life as they experience their very first missions trip.  It makes me downright giddy at times.

My pursuit?  How do I do my passion full-time so that I am glorifying God by it?  What, where and how do I do what I think God is calling me to do?  I know God's going to provide the way and the means, but I don't think I'm just supposed to sit idly by waiting for it to happen. 

So that is it.  I'm at a point where I know where God is calling me, I just don't know how.  He does and though it honestly does scare me just a tad, it excites me, too.  I think it's going to call for some radical changes, but I think I'm finally at a point in my life where I'm ready.

Now what?

Where My Tent Is Pitched Now

Think about the one person on this earth that you love more than ANYONE else.  It could be a parent, a spouse, a child - anyone who you cherish above all else.  Now, imagine that person being nailed to a cross, dying for people who, quite honestly, don't deserve it.



That probably doesn't even begin to touch the surface of how God felt.

That was the question presented to me today in the portion of Crazy Love that I'm camped on right now. Being an "orphan" of sorts (both my parents are deceased) and not being married and not having kids, I honestly had to think for a moment just who that person is that I love the most.  And once I locked in to who, those thoughts, those feelings, well they just weren't all the pleasant.

But yet, God loved me, ME, enough to allow His Son to go through that. 

Me.

Prideful.

Selfish.

Arrogant.

Me.

That is how much, how intense, how MIND BLOWING, how crazy His love is for me.

And yet, I know I take that love for granted.  I know that I walk around not even trying to be thankful for what He's done and I know that I just assume that no matter what I do, He will continue to love me with that same intensity.

And you know what?  He does.  CRAZY!!  Flat out, knock your socks off crazy.

Now that I am aware of all of that what should my response be?  Should I continue in the same lifestyle, the same sinful ways with the same responses and assumptions.  No.  Absolutely not.

If God is going to love me so much to do the one thing that to us humans is totally and completely unimaginable, how can I deny Him my life, totally and completely and utterly sold out for Him?  How can I not, in whatever small and insignificant way not try to live a life, radical, crazy and wholly devoted to Him?

How can you?

(All of these musings were taken from the video, Just Stop & Think on the Crazy Love website.  It's about 15 minutes long, but if you can't read the book, watch the video.  It'll radically change you because it has me.)