Needless to say that experience scarred me for a very long time. Last night was the first time in probably 20 years that I went to a restaurant (ok, so it was only Moe’s, but still), ordered my food (the Billy Barou, chicken, NO BEANS) and when asked that all important question “Is that for here or to go” I held my head high, ignored the sweaty palms and the sound of my heart pounding out of my chest and announced for all to hear, “Here!” Then, when it was my turn to pay, I nearly chickened out. But I had 3 motivating factors for staying:
- I live about 20 minutes from Moe’s. So by the time I get back home, my food is a bit chilled and the cheese sauce congealed. Ick.
- It was pouring, I mean POUR-ING outside. I had darted in to Moe’s seconds before the skies opened up. And on an impulse, grabbed the book I was reading from out of my gym bag.
- Sitting, BY MYSELF, at a table is just a teeny, tiny, small, VERY small step in the whole God-maybe-possibly-doing-something-HUGE-in-my-life thing. I know it sounds weird, but trust me, it is. Tiny, though, ok?
I got my food, picked a table (kinda in a corner where it would be so obvious that there were neon lights blinking above me screaming, “LOSER EATING BY HERSELF!!”) and proceeded to thoroughly enjoy my dinner and my book. Seriously! I enjoyed it. As a matter of fact, when I was done eating, I continued to sit there for awhile longer until I finished the chapter.
Now don’t go thinking I’m growing up and getting all mature and stuff, because the likelihood of this happening again in the near future is slim to none. But for now, this small victory feels HUGE in my heart.
Next on my list: learning how to ride a motorcycle.