I saved an earthworm

I know - right??!!??

An earthworm… ME! I picked it up WITH MY VERY OWN FINGERS and flung into the grass. Well now that I’m reading that, maybe the flinging part wasn’t all that great – but my intentions were good! So now instead of inching along the pavement that was rough and hard and not very pretty and where surely it was going to get smushed, it could now do what it does best (and I have no idea what that is).

So here’s my wondering for today: am I inching along the pavement waiting to get smushed OR do I need to get flung into the grass where God can use me best? (My theology may be a bit off here, but you get what I’m saying, right?) Maybe the pavement is where God wants me right now? Maybe He’s using the rough pavement to smooth me out. Or is getting smushed God’s way of gently disciplining me and making me into the woman He wants me to be? Am I content to hang out on the pavement never knowing the beauty of the tall grass? Or do I need to be flung into the soft grass?

I don’t know the answers to these questions. I know the earthworm was worming its way toward the grass, but is that what I’m doing? I hope so. I PRAY SO!

Where are you today, my friends? Are you inching along the pavement waiting to get smushed or are you enjoying the soft soil of God’s love and peace?

(Oh yeah, and I immediately went home and washed my hands… like 4 times…. Just in case, ya know.)

Todd Daily

(Or, “No Hope, Jordan Leigh & Rachel, there is no Todd Daily”)

I had been praying for something for nearly every day for 509 days. That’s a long time.

Some days, my prayers were so intense that I cried and other days I felt like I was just going through the motions. On most of those days I felt, quite honestly, like God wasn’t even listening to me. Because no matter how I prayed and no matter what I did, it just seemed like He was silent on the whole issue. And it wasn’t one of those, no not now silences, it was silent silent.

Not a word.

Not a single word.

And it’s amazing how you can start to totally doubt just about EVERYTHING when you feel like God isn’t listening to you. You begin to wonder if He’s hearing anything you say. Question everything. Trust nothing. Insecurities abound. Hopelessness flows freely.

Gosh it’s tough being me some days.

Then on day 497 (no I’m not that good – I use www.timeanddate.com/) I was driving some friends, John & Lisa Gotz, from Florence back to Columbia. They are missionaries in Belize and, good heavens if anyone’s going to be full of wisdom on all things God, surely seasoned missionaries are, right?! So I posed the question to them, “What do you do if you pray and pray and PRAY for something and it seems like God is ignoring your prayers?”

I figured I’d initially get the pat answer of God answers prayers in one of 3 ways, “No, yes and not now.” But you gotta trust me on this, there was silence from God (or so I thought). Not a single no, yes or even a not now. So I deflected that answer by showing off my God-knowledge and saying that I knew the 3-ways answer and it was none of those.

So after a few moment s of silence, during which I’m thinking, “THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD! “ John finally says, “Huh, I dunno.”

Excuse me??

Then, John asks, “Are you talking to Todd Daily about this?”

Todd Daily, WHO IS TODD DAILY? Will he have the answers to my questions? Does he know what God has in store for me and this situation? IS TODD DAILY SINGLE??

Turns out, I need to buy some new Q-Tips. What John actually said was, “Are you talking to God daily?”

Well DUH! Of course I was!! That’s part of the problem!! I’m talking to Him daily and He’s not talking back!

Then John so wisely says, “Well there ya go, Alice. God will answer, in His time. But maybe, just maybe, right now He’s enjoying this time with you. He’s enjoying this relationship you’re building with Him.”

Huh… well I hadn’t thought about that (that’s why they’re missionaries and I’m not). I guess my relationship with God outweighed my timing on an answer. Hearing that, accepting that and soaking that in made all the difference in the world. And it made getting the answer on day 509 a wee bit easier.

(Oh and FYI – there are about 7 Todd Daily’s on Facebook. I wonder if any of them are single…)

Shower, rinse, repeat

So I found a tick on me this morning. Yup a tick. My 1st one. GROSS!!!

I think it hopped on when I was out back with Lucy getting ready to roll the trash around to the front. The idea of it coming from anywhere else is enough to make me ill. I found it, made it go to tick hell (because surely there is no heaven for ticks) and took a shower.

Then another.

And another.

And if I weren’t running so late for work, I would have taken another.

I STILL feel gross and itchy and EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Is that how I feel when I sin? When I grieve the heart of the very One who died for me? Is the need to get that sin out of my life as urgent and necessary as the need to make sure that there was no way there was another tick on me?

Am I as anxious to live a clean, pure life for God as I am to walk out of my house clean and tick-free?

Now before you think my theology is all out of whack, I know and appreciate the fact that I just have to ask for forgiveness once and my sins are forgiven. Shower myself in God’s love and rinse away the sins. Repeat the next time I sin BUT that sin is gone, forgiven kaput.

Shower and rinse.

Welcome Back!

Ok so I’m going back to blogging (please hold your applause especially if you’re reading this at work – I don’t want to get anyone in trouble!).

Why the 3 month hiatus? Well I wish I could be all spiritual and stuff and say it has something to do with giving up being online for Lent or focusing on my walk and not my talk. But no, actually, it all has to do with being lazy, being bummed and being confused.

So if you’ve read my previous posts, you’ve probably surmised that I was going to Belize. And, I’m happy to report, that I went to Belize AND I made it back! Go me! The trip was amazing and wonderful and everything a missions trip should be (minus any gastrointestinal issues). I made some amazing contacts, spent oodles of time with wonderful friends, drank an insane amount of Coke Light and came home with a bit of sun and a lot of excitement over what God was going to do.

Fast forward 3 months. I’m still back from Belize and technically should be leaving again in 18 days. However, God is God and He had far better plans for me. I will admit, I have no idea what those plans are and on a near daily basis I have to remind myself that whatever it is He has in store for me is going to FAR EXCEED the last few months. For suffice it to say, I’m NOT going to Belize in 18 days.

And possibly not again this year.

But I dunno.

Can I stop now?

The reasons and all that STUFF are tough and there are several WISE people in my life working through all this with me and all involved. (It’s more them and not me – I’m just a casualty of it all.) ANYHOW, God is faithful and I am genuinely excited about what He’s going to do in the coming months.

I think I will stop now.

This is a picture of four men whom I admire greatly. Two of them have gone home to hang with our Lord; one extremely recently. All of them have impacted the Kingdom mightily. Posting their picture here is my insignificant way of honoring them each. Thank you Tommy, Andy, Wick and Greg for the sacrifices you’ve made and for the hearts you have that are dedicated to our Lord. Your lives and your walks are an inspiration to me.

S.A.D.

Tomorrow is “Singleness Awareness Day.” And for all you singles out there – BE GLAD! Below is a list of why I’m glad I’m single (though I PROMISE you, if the opportunity arose, I’d get married!). Feel free to add yours.

Top Ten Reasons I’m Grateful To Be Single

(no particular order)

1. I can watch what I want, when I want and I can channel surf as much as I want. And if I happen to land on an old episode of "Mad About You" and want to watch it, WHO CARES? The remote is mine. The TV is mine. (Unfortunately so is the cable bill, but that’s ok.)
2. I can eat the exact same breakfast/lunch/dinner for days if not weeks on end and no one cn stop me!
3. I can have a bowl of Captain Crunch Peanut Butter Cereal for dinner.
4. My car can be as clean or messy as I want it to be and no one can complain about it. (Of course no one cleans it for me either.)
5. Same thing goes for my house.
6. My cell phone minutes are MY CELL PHONE MINUTES. I don’t have to share them with ANYONE!
7. The ENTIRE closet and every single dresser drawer, MINE!
8. Toilet seat… enough said
9. If a friend calls me and asks me to meet them at (enter Mexican restaurant here) in 10 minutes, I can go without having to consult anyone.
10. If I want to spend money on clothes, funky household stuff or just give it to someone who needs it, I can do it without having to ask.

Ultimately I’m glad to be single because for right now this is where God has me. And for whatever the reason or how ever long the season, I hope to live it like I mean it and do it all for His glory.

Happy Valentine’s Day my friends.

(Oh, TEN DAYS!!!)

Kleenex Says, "Bless You"

Just when I thought it was safe to wallow in uncertainty and despair (ok THAT’S not an exaggeration, is it?) God has stepped in AGAIN and shown me how much He loves me, how much HE is in control of all of this, and that YES ALICE, THIS IS MY WILL FOR YOU!

Let me ‘splain (no let me sum up).

Since last I updated anyone here on my bro, David much has happened. And things change on a daily if not twice-a-day basis. Every time I’d start to update folks, something would change and finally I gave up trying to keep the masses informed. As of today, my brother is getting moved back to the Cardiac Critical Care Unit at Allegheny General Hospital to await a heart/kidney transplant. If one does not become available at the end of two weeks the doctors will be forced to give him an artificial heart. Without either of these, they suspect that he has about a month to live.

And my brother still does not want to see me.

Nor does he want my kidney (turns out the transplant team doesn’t want it either, but their rejection is easier to take).

I found out a majority of this information on Friday afternoon. On my drive over to my friend Mark’s house for bible study, I had come to the conclusion that there was no way I was going to Belize. How could I? At the same time I thought of all the things that God had orchestrated (as only He can) to show me how this was His will. I was at the point where I just flat out needed someone to tell me what to do. I no longer felt like I was being objective or anything. Enter my dear friend, Greg Stuckey, who without hesitation said, “You are to go to Belize.”

Greg completely brought me down to earth when he said, “Alice, this trip has nothing to do with you. God obviously has a plan. God obviously is in control. This is not about you. This is all about God.” WOW! Gotta admit, this way of thinking was totally foreign to me!

Then last night my uncle tells me that sometime within the next two weeks that he (my uncle) will be having at least double if not triple by-pass surgery. SERIOUSLY? No, I mean SER-I-OUS-LY???!!?????

Oh yeah, and by the way, HE DOESN’T WANT ME COMING TO SEE HIM EITHER!

Sigh.

So there I was last night, sitting in the middle of my bed, crying, not sure what to think, what to do, who to call, were to go. My mind and heart were a jumbled mess of BLAH! I couldn’t pray, I couldn’t think, I just wanted to curl up into a ball and wake up sometime in the middle of March.

I proceeded to do what any normal, red-blooded American girl would do, I shopped online for shoes. I remembered getting a postcard in the mail about some place having a sale, went to find said postcard and instead found an envelope from a sweet friend in Florence. Inside was a note telling me that she was praying for me and my brother. She also sent a donation for my trip.

So I’m going to Belize. In 11 days, I’m going to Belize. My family needs your prayers tremendously. John, Margaret, Everett & I need your prayers, as well.

Steelers vs. Evangelism

I’ve been a Steeler fan since the day I was born. And no, not just because I was born and raised in Pittsburgh. And I can probably count on 1 hand the number of times my entire family sat down and watched a game on TV together. My family was more of a “Breakfast At Wimbledon” family. When the Steelers were on TV, I was generally in another room watching the game by myself. And though I’ve lived in several states with fairly decent NFL teams, I still bleed black and gold. Always will. Deal with it.

Anyhow, as an adult I’ve realized that I can’t watch a Steeler game with anyone else. It annoys me if there are others around while I’m watching. And unless there’s blood spurting from your head, don’t call me (unless it’s commercial time). I’m vocal. I’m loud. And like any true Steeler fan, I have my very own set of superstitions that I rarely veer from.

Can you imagine how different my life would be if I felt the same way about telling folks about Jesus? (Well maybe minus the vocal, loud and superstition part.) Actually I guess the correct question would be can you imagine how different others lives could be if I felt the same way about telling them about Jesus.

Why is it I can talk to a total stranger about James Harrison’s miraculous interception and 100 yard return for the touchdown? Or Santonio Holmes AMAZING catch that put us in the lead with just 35 seconds left to the game? But tell me to talk to that same stranger about Jesus?!

Oh yeah, and Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow today. No problem with that one either.

I don’t have an answer to why I can’t talk about something that’s of far greater importance than the Steelers or a groundhog. I’ll blame it on the fear of rejection.

Lame.

Oh and incase I haven’t mentioned it yet… 21 DAYS!!