At that point I thought about how I very nearly I didn’t send out any emails. Just as I was bout to hit the "SEND" button, I thought, "WHAT AM I DOING??!!" I had convinced myself that what I was doing was stupid and that NO ONE would want to pray or help or whatever. All those fears and doubts just practically overtook me. But I thought what is the WORST that could happen? It’s funny how Satan tries to rob us of our joy or blessing, isn't it?
But those first responses (actually there were 2 within a few moments of each other) made me just want to stick my tongue out at Satan and say, “Nah nah nah nah nah NAH!” (Which I guess if my tongue was sticking out would have been, “blanah blanah blanah blanah blanah BLANAH!”)
Then today, I was talking with my friend Greg Stuckey and later to John Gunden. With each of them I shared about my email and my decision to NOT purchase the ticket myself. ( My brother’s in the hospital, it’s rather serious and flying to Pittsburgh at the drop of a hat is a possibility. So tying up all my money just didn’t seem like the wise thing to do. ) We all agreed that God's provision would be the obvious answer to this situation and His confirmation that what we're doing is His will.
This morning in my journal, before any of these conversations or anything I wrote, "Lord, if this is your will, show me miraculously!" Then John prayed with me just before we hung up that the Lord would confirm, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this was His will. I am not exaggerating when I say that within 5 minutes of this prayer, God had not only answered, He SCREAMED His answer. One email (well 2 from the same person), caused me to cry so much and so hard that it left me with a rather severe headache (and strange stares from my co-workers).
God has provided in such a way that to say I'm humbled, would be an extreme understatement. Even now, hours later, it still causes me to cry as I think of what He's done and is doing. Who am I to deserve blessings such as this? I know that every prayer uttered and every dollar donated isn't for ME but rather for what God's going to do.
- Please, PLEASE continue to pray for John and Margaret. They, too, are trying to raise funds for their portion of this trip which includes a pastor/youth workers lunchen that they want to host while we are down there.
- Pray for Everett as he's wrapping up his time hosting a team from South Carolina and then making preperations for us. Pray also that he would have some sweet time with his son in the midst of all the craziness.
- And please pray that I would remain worthy.