Saturday, January 31, 2009

An Update on My Brother

So this blog was supposed to be focused on my upcoming trip to Belize, or at the very least on short-term missions and I’m realizing how very little I’m addressing either. But good heavens, if so many other “life defining” (well maybe that’s a bit of an overstatement) things would stop happening, I could get back to them!

Thursday night, on my way home from bible study, I saw a falling star. Now there are probably only a handful of people, if that many, who know that since I was a little girl I’ve wished on stars. Seriously. No, seriously, I really do. I did it again this morning at 5:15 AM while I was out walking Lucy. And I say the little rhyme when I do it, too. (Say it with me people, “Star light, star bright, 1st star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, upon that star I see tonight.”) Anyhow, I think, for a star wisher, a falling star is a BIG DEAL.

I have always thought (I think I made this part up myself) that a falling star was a wish coming to earth to be granted. CORNY!! And YES I realize I’m leaving out the whole God-factor and all, but humor me here! It’s just a silly little thing I’ve been doing since I was a kid. And come on now, most of you know that when you blow out candles on your birthday cake you STILL make a wish!

Anyhow, for most of my life my wish has been the same, but the last couple of weeks it’s changed. These days my wish is that my brother would get better. Yesterday afternoon my uncle called and said that they now think my brother, on top of everything else, may have prostate cancer. Quite honestly, I’m not sure what to do with this information. I am, quite honestly, avoiding dealing with it. It’s taken me 3 ½ hours just to type the last 3 sentences - not because I keep getting interrupted, but because typing it out makes me think about it.

I talked to my brother last night and tried to get him to let me come up there. He didn’t just refuse, he VEHEMENTLY refused. He told me that there will come a time within the next few months that he’ll need me to be there. That scares me. Correction that terrifies me.

More than anything in this world, I want that falling star to be my wish coming to earth to be granted. I promise you that I know that it’s all in God’s hands. I know that God is in control and yes, I know that it’s up to God to heal my brother, if it is His will. I know it’s not up to wishes, deals I could make with Him or anything else. But my little girl heart wants her big brother to get better. Pray for him.

Oh yeah, and in case you think I’ve lost count… 23 Days!!!!!!!!!!!!

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